Happy holidays, Gotham City family! Did you travel to see your loved ones for Thanksgiving last week?
I sure didn’t. I have a strict “no traveling” rule for Thanksgiving week.
Why do you ask? Well, to kind of quote Coolio: ain’t no traffic like Thanksgiving traffic, cause Thanksgiving traffic don’t stop!
I know Los Angelenos think they have it worse than everyone, but I tend to disagree. For starters, LA is used to traffic all day, every day. How different can Thanksgiving actually be?!
Actually, Florida has some of the worst holiday traffic. There are only two ways in, and two ways out. In fact, Florida traffic gets so bad that motorists can dance on the road without getting run over or causing an accident.
My case in point:
Stuck in standstill traffic at an accident scene in South Florida. No movement in 20 minutes. This just happened … pic.twitter.com/ZQd4jqiHR3
— Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman) November 21, 2017
Is twerking on the highway actually legal?
Highway twerking is always illegal. Florida statute 316.130(18) prohibits walking, dancing, riding your bike, etc. on a highway because it is a “limited access facility”.
There are, however, some situations where you might not get a ticket if a police officer catches you twerking it out.
Stand-still, holiday traffic likely qualifies. Here are a few reasons why an officer might turn a blind eye to this situation:
For starters, our twerking friends did not walk to their dance spot. They got stuck there. Next, our friends weren’t dancing while cars drove by. Stand-still traffic means no one’s going anywhere. Finally, it’s the holidays! Law enforcement officers don’t want to ruin your vacation or holiday celebration!
Stay in your cars, people!
No dance session is worth the risk of getting a ticket. Seriously, not all law enforcement officers will look the other way. If you run into one that doesn’t look the other way, he is absolutely justified in giving you a ticket.
It’s never a good idea to hope for a lenient police officer. If you need to twerk on a road trip, try to wait until you get to a rest area or gas station before you do it!
Your best bet if you need to shake that thang: twerk off that turkey in the living room. That way, your kids are likely the only ones who may cite you for a violation.